dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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