I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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