break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
