My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
im calling her cock vulture from now on
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
