I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
