my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
