I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
