This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
