I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
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just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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