i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
