Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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