I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
