this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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