my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
