i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
pop tarts are not kleenex
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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