9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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