He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
that may or may not have been my penis.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
