Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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