yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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