im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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