Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
