Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
