All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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