mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This is not my ceiling
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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