as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
