Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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