Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
