It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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