she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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