He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
