I love black thongs
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
