Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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