Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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