forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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