I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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