The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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