Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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