Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
