You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
