i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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