who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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