...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
