I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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