Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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