This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
