My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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