If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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