I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
do herpes really smell.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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