saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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