I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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