It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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