The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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