Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
