I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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