she looked like the bat from fern gully.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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